繁体

Education is so simple. You see, a chair and a wal

  • 20 December 2019 Fri |
  •   PARENTING |
  •   ✉ 檢舉
On the weekend, Doudou's playmate Xiaomi came to visit and was invited by Dou Ma to stay for lunch.

The two little guys were having fun.

Doudou mother cooked lunch, Doudou glanced at the dinner table, and his temper broke out: "Eat fish again! I do n’t want fish, I want beef steak!"

"Oh, obediently, my mother didn't go to the supermarket today, I bought it tomorrow!"

"No, I don't ...", "Dangdang", the 4-year-old Doudou waved a toy gun in his hand and hit a whole plate of fried fish on the table.

Dou Ma resisted the anger in her heart, "" Isolate the time "for 4 minutes, and reflect on your behavior!" Dou Ma held Dou to the corner of the wall, where there was a small stool, and she made Dou face the wall sit down. 

Ignoring Doudou, Mom Dou and Xiaomi had lunch.

After "quarantine" for 4 minutes, Dou Ma also adjusted her mood. She went to Dou and asked, "Talk about why did you do that just now?"

"I don't want to eat fish!"

"But you just wasted a plate of food and broke a plate."

"I'm wrong!"

"Then, tell your mother why you were" isolated. "

"I broke the fried fish and broke a plate."

"What if I want to eat steak next time?"

"Wait for Mom to buy it."

"Okay, go eat!" Holding Dou's hand, Doudo went to the dinner table to eat, and the two little guys started talking and laughing again.

"Time isolation" (also called Time Out, or "face-thinking" in China) is a very popular method of punishing children between European and American parents, because it is free of violence, practical, effective and highly respected.

Why is "timed isolation" an educational function?

From the perspective of child psychology, children have herd mentality and group consciousness. Young children are very dependent on adults. Once they are left out or isolated, they will feel different from others. Differential treatment has also become sensitive. 

When they are independent and bored, and have no entertainment, they can focus on the mistakes they just made, review their words and deeds, and find out which behavior caused them to be punished.

It should be noted that during the "time isolation" of the child, the adult should not scold or betray any negative emotions, let alone yelling, otherwise the child will feel rejected or abandoned, but calmly say to the child: "3 minutes, think about the mistake you just made, and then tell mom!"

This method is not suitable for babies before the age of 3 and children after the age of 12. Because children before the age of 3 are immature and have short memories, using the "timed isolation" prematurely will mislead the baby, thinking that adults do not I love myself and have a negative impact on the child's mind. After 12 years of age, children enter a period of rebellion and have a strong sense of autonomy. "Timed isolation" will hurt the child's self-esteem, causing children's antipathy and strong resistance.

In order to achieve better results of "timed isolation", please remember the principles of parents:

1. Don't deny the child because of the child's behavior

Some parents are accustomed to labeling their children after they make mistakes, "annoying children", "disruptive children", "nasty children", and often mentioning and even mocking their personality after punishing them. 

This kind of bad behavior not only invalidates the "timed isolation", but also leads to inferiority of the child. 

Remember to say to your child, "Think about the mistake you just made, but don't forget that I love you!"

2.The time of "Timed Isolation" cannot be too long

It is common in many classrooms in China to make children think of obsolescence, and sometimes one stop is half a day or a whole day. This behavior has caused harm to children. 

Most children are often aware of their own faults when they first stand, but too long a period of time will cause the child to change from regret to resentment. 

In general, the time standard for "timed isolation" should be one minute per one year old, and the upper limit is 10 minutes.

3. Never close to a "black room"

There have been cases where young children's minds have been wounded by the kindergarten teachers in the "black room". This behavior is not called "punishment" but "abuse". 

Any punishment must be called education under the premise of ensuring the child's sense of security; otherwise, fear occupies the child's heart, which not only cannot make the child aware of the fault, but also causes the child to have a psychological shadow.

4. Remember to let your child know your mistakes after punishment, and say the correct solution

In the face of younger children, the more you have to do this, let your child know that your parents punish you because you made a mistake just now, instead of not loving you, and make your child realize that they are doing something wrong.

The child combined the "noodle wall" with "wrong"-"Because I destroyed the fried fish on the dining table, this is not the right behavior. So my mother punished me for thinking about the wall." At the same time, I hit the iron while the heat was hot, and let the child say that he would It is better to do destructive behavior so that the child can make more correct behavior in the future.

5.The location of `` timed isolation '' is very important

It's best not to choose a place that will divert your child's attention, such as a toilet that can play with water, a room that can read books, or a compartment with toys. The ideal place is only a small stool for children to sit, and everything else No, such as a corner of a wall or an empty stairwell, letting children focus on "I was isolated because I made a mistake", the education effect will be better.

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